Her story and a lot's of love...
Had it been a normal day she would have even noticed the sky change
its colours from blue to yellow to orange to red and then see the night settle
in. But today was different. She was in a hurry. She just wanted to go home and
CRY. She wanted to change her mood, she had been through a lot emotionally
recently and finally she could not bear it any more.
As she hustled passed her favourite bakery, she did not even hear
the baker call her name and tell her that he had kept her favourite pastry
aside. She walked passed as soon as she saw him as she was afraid he would see
that tear find its way to her cheek.
She reached her apartment and fumbled while finding the key in her
bag. “Why is his happening?” “Count to 10, things will be better”. She had
learnt to pacify herself by counting to ten every time she was under pressure.
And sure enough she found the key! At last opening the door, she threw her bag
on the floor and herself on the bed. And she cried, long and hard. She cried
for the good, the bad and the ugly, she cried for everything, letting herself
go. Letting emotions take the better of her. She did not know when she fell
asleep or how she fell asleep. She had not checked the time. When she woke up
it was still dark outside, but the lights in her apartment were on and so was
her laptop. She checked her laptop and saw their photo, she quickly opened
another window; she had been listening to The Doors (their favourite band). And
the memories started coming back again. Her expressions changed from happy to
sad. The smile faded and she started crying again.
She wailed she hit the bed and threw the pillows; she fell on the
ground and cried her lungs out. “Why did I let him go... might we have worked
things out?” but that time was long gone, for he was already fighting a battle
on his home base. He had been called back to report to duty immediately and he
just met her briefly. They had planned to announce their engagement and
marriage this time to family and friends. Her parents had begun wondering who
she was dating in the city and were worried. They had given her a year’s time
to settle or eventually get married to a man of their choice. But she had
fallen madly, deeply in love with him.
It wasn’t love at first sight, nor was there any melody playing in
the background when they met. It was a casual meeting over thanksgiving dinner
at a friend’s place. But they got talking and she didn’t remember whether it
was the wine or just him for they talked for hours through the night and all
the way till he dropped her home. Being a gentleman he did not come in and they
agreed to meet again; this time over coffee.
It was just always so smooth
with him, he knew exactly what she was thinking, what she wanted, how she felt,
how she would react, what she would say, how she would express. She thought he
was perfect. He took care of her, and her wants. He always understood her so
very well. And best of it all, he would always make her laugh. They had the
same tastes too in food, wine, cigarettes, books, films, music, and theatre.
Plus he was a tender lover. She would moan and yield in every time. He loved
her dearly, and when he held her, he felt complete. They had started living- in
just two months in their relationship (“Was it too soon?” they would keep
asking each other). But they were happy. He cracking stupid jokes, making her
laugh while she would cook him breakfast.
But time was running away and he would have to return to his base.
He would only come to be with her every 2 months and she would make the most of
it. They would just spend the mornings cuddling in bed and then finally get up
only when the sun hit their eyes. This time he had planned to stay back for
more than his normal 10 days, he was planning to stay back forever; he was
planning to quit the forces. But as luck would have it, a war broke out and he
was called back.
He saw her waiting at the baggage claim with flowers in her hand. He
just kept staring at her, she was looking so beautiful. He noticed how she had
been to the parlour and set her hair, she was wearing make-up, and a new dress.
He held her in his arms and kissed her ever so softly and gently. But before
she could say anything he told her he had to be back at the base. She held
herself, did not show him her frustration, anger, sorrow and despair. She
kissed him back and bade him good bye.
But that was a fortnight ago, and here she was tonight crying away
alone. She was waiting for the doorbell to ring, for him to come in and swipe
her off her feet. A bell had rung last morning. She had received a call from
the commandment centre asking her to come to their office to identify a
soldier’s body. She was not willing to go and all the while she did she prayed
that it wouldn’t be him. She was led to the morgue and asked to look at the
body. She looked and turned pale and fell to the floor and nodded in agreement.
It was him. She waited to reach home before she could cry. She sat at the
window with dull eyes looking up at the sky and trying to find love again.
She remembered a story her mother had told her, when people die they
go to the heaven and become stars and shine upon us. “It’s their way of
lightning up our darkened lives”, her mother would say. She looked up again and
found him, shining back on her and guiding her...her pole star.
No comments:
Post a Comment